There are so many sayings about the past: “Put the past behind you.” “Don’t look behind you, you’re not going that way.” “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery.”
The one that rings most true to me right now is a quip that I don’t see often on facebook posts or memes: “The past is never where you think you left it.” (Katherine Ann Porter) I may need to read some of her essays and stories – I think she’s hit the nail on the head.
One of the most frustrating things about this addiction/recovery process – about the road paved by drugs and their users – is that it’s a path not easily erased and left behind. Even when a person has “ceased to be a prisoner of the past” and “continued moving forward one step at a time,” the past can appear without warning, rearing its head and proving that it is harder to dismiss than we want to believe.
Yesterday, one of my boys was arrested. Apparently, he had attempted to sell something to someone a couple of years ago…
I won’t print the details (as little as I know) at this point, but it involves small-town police building a case over years in an attempt to get to the bigger dealers. I get that. I want those people stopped too. But it’s hard to watch this young man who has been working hard to support himself and his family, to stay clean and live right … to walk the right path … have the past come and spin him around, sneering, “Though you could leave me behind did you?”
We say, “Let bygones be bygones.” It’s harder than it seems.
One mom talking. Can’t sleep. Thanks for being here. Much love and God’s peace to you all.
FOLLOW UP NOTE: Yes, all will be well. The system, hopefully, will work in favor of (a) stopping the flow of drugs and (b) supporting my son as he continues to build his life and raise his family. That’s the best possible outcome; that’s what we hope and pray for!
One Mom Talking: The ongoing story of one mom, three teens, and heroin. 
You cannot forget your past. However you should embrace it and learn from it. I love the quote: The past cannot be changed but the future is still in your power. I do think this is correct, all the mistakes you have made cannot be changed you can only make better decisions in the future. Good luck to you and your sons.
Thanks for your comment! Yes, I agree. But I was having a moment in response to this latest event. Set-backs hurt! But – certainly – we continue to move forward through it all. God bless!
You said this so well. The past does come back to bite us sometimes. Its always there with the potential of rearing its ugly head. I hope in the case of your son that he is able to get back to his productive, good life and this will just go away and not affect him.
Thanks, Barbara. So far, so good. We’ll just walk through it together 🙂
I’ll be praying about this situation with your son. I so agree that the past can come back to haunt us especially when it comes to this disease but I am hoping that the court will see how well your son is doing and allow him to move forward in his life. The entire criminal justice system is broken and the war on drugs is a complete failure. They can lock up one dealer (I am not talking about your son) and there are thousands upon thousands to take his/her place. Incarceration does nothing but cost taxpayers millions of dollars and more often than not they are not violent felony offenders. They never get the “big guns” at the top.
Thanks, Erin. We appreciate your prayers. There are some areas that have “recovery court” type of situation which are helpful. But, yes, much of the criminal justice system – where drugs and addiction are concerned – is a mess and really doesn’t help the situation whatsoever. That’s a whole other blog post, lol! Thanks for your comment and for reading.