The other day I went to the beach for a couple of hours. Stopped at the store. Went home. Somewhere along the way I realized that I didn’t have my cell phone with me. I realized it with a brief thought that came and went with no concern.
Hallelujiah! I have detached from my cell phone!
When my boys were active in their addiction, I might as well have had that phone sewn onto my skin; I never let it leave my hands. I was too worried I’d miss some all-important call. Every call and every text seemed to carry life-and-death potential. Of course I was exaggerating the urgency of it all, but clearly I wasn’t in control
Anyone else need a cell phone-ectomy? Try it one day. Tell it how much you care, and then leave it home. Detaching with love.
Anyone remember this song that Joni Mitchell sang? “Years spin by and now the boy is twenty. though his dreams have lost some gradeur coming true…There’ll be new dreams – there’ll be better dreams, and plenty, before his last revolving year is through.”
Yes, the years are spinning by. And I’m so grateful! One boy is 19 and one boy is 21. And while their dreams might have lost some grandeur compared to those earlier, more innocent years of their lives, they are dreaming still. So grateful.
Since I’ve neglected this page for awhile, here’s an update: Dan is a manager now with the food chain he’s been working for. He works too many hours, and contemplates backing out of the job for that reason, but he’s not rushing his decision about it (which in itself is a major sign of maturity). He looks so great and I wish I could post his picture here because he’s such a strong and handsome young man!
Al is doing well too. He’s out of his halfway house and he’s living with a girl. I guess they’re not supposed to enter relationships so quickly (especially with someone else in recovery) but the two of them have made this decision. They attend meetings together and he helps her family with various chores and child care, and they’re helping him find work in the town he’s settled into. He’s very active in the recovery community and contacts me regularly. So…while I still have those occasional nights when I wake up with a heart of worry about him, I think he’s doing well.
My daughter has friends now, and a car, and we’re going to visit colleges this summer! Wow…my youngest has only one more year in high school.
I’m enjoying my nonprofit job, and getting along much better with my boss. So gratitude is the attitude of the day. And here’s the best thing: “Addict” is not the first thing I think of when I think of my boys now. I never thought this day would come. I know that we could find ourselves back in that someday. But right now, “there are new dreams, there are better dreams – and plenty…” God bless you all.