Category Archives: God

Darkness into Light

curtainIn my church – and in many churches – we teach the idea that the way to conquer an evil is to remove it from the darkness and shine the light of Christ in its eyes.

I am saddened by the continued reports saying: “There’s a heroin epidemic in [you name the city, state or metro area].”  And yet, I am encouraged that more and more people are sharing this news out loud. We are pulling the curtain aside and shedding light on the evil of heroin and drug addiction.

In my coaching business, I teach about the importance of facing our fears, naming them, and taking back the control that our self-imposed silence had given those fears.  We are doing this now. We are speaking up.

I’m feeling prompted to take this further. Every once  in awhile I get this intense feeling of wanting to speak out, but I’ve held back – in part because I just wasn’t ready emotionally – in part because I have concern about protecting the privacy of my children.  But here I am again, wanting to actively help.

If you were to speak out about your experience as the parent of an addict. Where would you start?

Continue in Love

I’m sharing this blog post from Don at “The Life Project” because I think you will connect with it. Don talks about our call love and be hospitable to others – yet addresses the need to protect ourselves as well. Sometimes, we have to open our doors and sometimes it’s okay to close them. I think we all know this struggle. Take a look by clicking on this link:  Continue in Love.

Love Wins!

Love WinsWishing you all a very blessed Easter.

I know it doesn’t feel blessed to many of you. Five years ago today, at this time (7:15AM), I was in a police station learning that my boys had been using heroin at a party.  It’s amazing to me that Easter is the anniversary of this journey for me. No wonder I’ve been tense these past few days.

But now – I’m off to church. Know you are all in my prayers. Know that Love Wins – if not in this life, then in the Great Beyond. Easter is our reminder that there’s more to life than what we can see. And that death holds no power over the beautiful spirit of life in all of us. LOVE has already won. Amen.

 

Entombed

closed tomb

I once read that the stone which covered the entry to Jesus’ tomb would have weighed 1-2 tons.  Let’s be cautious – let’s err on the light side and imagine it was just under one ton.  Let’s, for the sake of argument, say it only weighed 1,750 pounds.

One thousand seven hundred and fifty pounds.

Addiction.

Entombed.

The effect of addiction on me, on my children, on my whole family…
on your child, on you, on your whole family…
this is the weight of a stone that we cannot roll away in our own strength.

Come to me,
all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.
 29
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
 30
For my yoke is easy
and my burden is
light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Take this cup…

Have you ever wished you could blossom into your beautiful life without first being planted into the cold, dark ground?

Have you ever wished you could blossom into your beautiful life without having to break through the shell that surrounds your heart?

Have you ever wished you could blossom into your beautiful life without having to feel the pain of the push up through the heavy soil?  Without suffering?  Without ever being so fully human?

 Then, accompanied by the disciples,
Jesus left the upstairs room and went as usual to the Mount of Olives.
There he told them,
“Pray that you will not give in to temptation.”

 He walked away, about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed,
“Father, if you are willing,
please take this cup of suffering away from me.
Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him. 
He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit 
that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood.

Luke 22:39-44

Growing Your Beautiful Life

Hello Friends! I know I’ve been absent for so long. I am making an effort to return here regularly. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve stayed away from here because I realized that “Mother of Addict” had become too much of my identity.

Now I’m back because I know that “Mother of Addict” is not my identity. It describes one of the many roles I play in life – but it does not define me. I realize that while I don’t have control over many things in my life (or, even more so, in my children’s lives), I can have control over my own perspective about who I am.

One new identity I’ve added recently is Certified Christian Life Coach. Part of the reason I haven’t been here is that I’ve been building a new blog. I hope you’ll visit me there. My coaching blog (and my coaching business) is called Growing Your Beautiful Life. And we’ve just begun a journal project there. It runs for 10 weeks – and just started yesterday. So if any of you are interested in using my journaling prompts to explore who you are and where you’re going in this new year, please feel free to check out the blog and the project and jump in. You can formally register here (for a more personalized approach), or you can just use the journal prompts I’m posting each day. There’s no charge to register – it’s my gift to you!

In the meantime, I’m still OneMomTalking and continuing the journey. Know that I pray for you all (collectively and often individually), and send love across the cyber-miles.

The search for 20/20

looking backHindsight is always 20/20 – or so they say.  But whoever made up that quip … I don’t think they had an addict in the house. Looking back doesn’t really make it any clearer.

Recently, a friend told me that she read this whole blog; so I decided to come back here and read it myself from the start.  I has been a few years and I was wondering what I would think. I tried reading as if I was a stranger to the story, which wasn’t very hard to do. I felt like I was a stranger to the story!

Here are some things I noticed:

  • The child who was in the most trouble (or causing the most heartache) got all the press – with only a few exceptions.
  • Insomnia inspires blogging.
  • Drug addiction sucks – for everyone in the family.
  • I was in some real denial even when I thought I had stopped being in denial.
  • This place and all of you here in blogland helped me preserve some sanity. Thank you.
  • My journey really has been God-centered.
  • The severity of the crisis made it seem (to me, at the time) like all this addiction stuff had been going on for years, when it was only one year from when I discovered the problem to when I chose to move away. (That left me feeling bad; like I gave up too soon – but I let that go quickly too).
  • I have so much to be grateful for.

Another popular saying:  “Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.”  Good advice.  There’s nothing I (we) can do about the past. Eyes straight ahead – forward, march!

Like Wind Through My Window

Image“The Power of Now” (Tolle) has spurred me to begin regular meditation sessions here at
home. He says to get quiet and feel the inside of your body. That intrigued me and I tried it and I find that it works to quiet my mind. I cannot sustain inner dialogue or ponder mistakes from the past or  create “what-if” scenarios if I am breathing in and breathing out and focusing on what’s inside my skin. May sound strange, but it works.

Today I stayed home from work because if illness. My chest is scratchy and my sinuses hurt and my whole body feels exhausted. Tomorrow I’m supposed to drive from South Carolina to Florida to see my dad for Christmas. So this morning I was grumpy and concerned that my illness might prevent this trip.  And so, in response to both the illness and the grumpies, I decided to turn off the tv, close the laptop, and meditate. Here’s what happened:

Round One: I sat cross-legged on my bed, breathing in and out, reciting a bit of a prayer/mantra, and getting quiet. I became aware of the stuffiness of the air in my house. I haven’t had windows open in weeks and I was filled with a desire for a fresh, clean breeze. I opened my eyes and got off the bed and opened the bedroom window, plus a couple of others around the house.

Round Two:  I resumed my position, this time facing the open window. I resumed my breathing and began to focus on the sound of the wind through the trees. I am one with the wind. The wind and the trees and I have the same creator. Slow breath in through the nose. Slow breath out through the mouth. Hear the leaves brush against each other and the passing cars… CRASH!! 

Apparently the window wasn’t inserted properly into its frame. The wind blew the window in (the bottom section – the glass and it’s surrounding frame). The wind blew the window in, it fell onto the nightstand, knocking down the lamp. The lamp fell down and off the table onto the floor, hitting the nearby ironing board as it fell, knocking the iron onto the floor as well.

So much for my quiet time. But It did make me aware of the need to fix the window.

As I put everything back where it belonged, believe it or not I became aware of how the wind through the window was a metaphor for life. Yes it was. Sometimes everything just gets knocked over. Sometimes something that we think will be peaceful creates a ruckus. So we pick up the pieces, look for life lessons to learn, and move on.

I am now reading Marianne Williamson’s new book “The Law of Divine Compensation.” She says that the Universe corrects us when we get off course. Sometimes, I think, it does that by knocking a few things over and showing us a new plan. (Fix the window, put the ironing board away…).

God is like wind through my window. Refreshing and beautiful, with an occasional surprise. May the peace that passes our understanding sustain you in your travels. God bless.

Video

Questions for God

This is my first humble attempt at creating a youtube video with a bit of spiritual teaching and an original song. Surely we’ve all had questions for God. Please view gently – I’m just testing this out.

Prayers Tonight (this morning)

I suppose 4AM is “this morning” (even though it still feels like night).  Either way, here I am writing prayers.  I received a call an hour ago from Mike – my Ex – that he received a call that Al is in the hospital – possible overdose. So much for my cell-phone-detachment bragging rights.  We’ve had about four months of clean living in our family and I’m grateful for that.  And we’ve done this drill before.  Maybe I can approach it with some sense of serenity.

Anyway, over these months I’ve been writing Scripture-based prayers for all of my children, and in support of Al, I’m posting a couple of his here:

Psalm 42:5 “God, sometimes Al is discouraged.  Sometimes he is sad.  I pray that you guide him so that he puts his trust in you. So that he knows that you are his Savior and his God!”

Psalm 25:4-5 “Dear Lord, show Al the right path. Point out the right road for him to follow. Lead Al by your truth and teach him; for you are the God who saves him. All day long, may he put his trust in You.”

I join in prayer for all of you and your children.  I’m going to try to go back to sleep, since right now, the best thing I can do is stay rested and well.  May God’s peace be with you all.