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I saw this on someone’s facebook page today and it resonated deeply, so I thought I’d share it here.
Prayers to you all, always.
Here is a prayer I said every morning and every night for months. It really helped me remember my connection to God while I was struggling to find some peace and recovery:
God, I give thanks to you forever (psalms 31:12)
You cover me with your feathers;
Shelter me beneath your wings. (Psalms 91:4)
Your promises are my armor and protection (Psalms 91:5).
You are my strength and my song —
You give me victory! (Isaiah 12:2)
Christ makes His home in my hearts as I trust you
My roots grow deep in your love,
You keep me strong. (Ephesians 3:17)
Christ lives in me, and you assure me that I share
in His Glory (Colossians 2:27b).
I pray that you continually grow me
to use my freedom to serve others
in love. (Galatians 5:13).
I pray and thank you that I share in your abundance
as you send one blessing after another (John 1:16)
Thanks to Jesus for revealing God to us (John 1:18).
God, I lift up my children to you.
Protect them every day,
And draw them closer and closer to you.
I pray for the resources to provide a home for my family.
And above all, that your will be done.
Send your Holy Spirit to all who long to know you
and to all who suffer.
Renew our spirits, God.
I believe in the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. Love they neighbor. Be Jesus to the world. But can I help everyone who asks? Can anyone? The situation in my old neighborhood challenges me – and moreso my ex – to ponder this.
When my boys used heroin, it wasn’t just them. Almost their whole group of friends (not the girls as far as I know, but the guys) became addicts. I can easily name eight of them … maybe ten. And it probably reaches further than that. We’re talking about a middle- to upper-income suburban community; the place where people move to get away from this stuff. But I digress.
Recently, my ex came home from work to hear a phone message from the mother of one of my son’s childhood friends. This young man is now in the court system for charges stemming from his drug use. The mom has seen how well my son, Dan, is doing, and she asked my ex if he would be willing to meet with her to talk about it all.
Here’s the thing: This young man has been trouble with a capital “T” ever since we first met him (which was when the boys started kindergarten). He was in the court system before they were out of middle school … before any of these kids were using drugs of any kind. And the family has always had a reason why the things he did were not his fault. There is a deep root of co-dependency there beyond what either me or my ex feel able to step into.
So my heart aches for these people, but I’m going to be honest: I pray for this young man and his whole family but if I did not ever see them again, and if my boys did not ever know this young man in their lives again, I would be fine with that. I feel heartless! I’m not heartless … I’m just a little bit afraid. I’ve been lied to by this boy way too many times – before heroin and after. And they’d all have to show me that they are honestly and wholeheartedly working a serious recovery before I could reach out in any way. My ex feels the same. And yet we struggle with the decision to stay detached from them because we know how important it’s been for us to have people give Dan a chance, you know? I guess it’s all in God’s hands.
Heroin. Addiction. Lord knows it’s a communty affair.
Al has only ten days left in rehab. At least that’s how it looks right now. So he is deciding what to do next. His counselor recommends that he not go back to his hometown since all his connections are there. He wants to come to a halfway house about an hour away from me. I don’t know what to say.
First, I said yes. Then, I talked to his counselor and raised some serious concerns about it. Could he go somewhere in Colorado that’s not near his friends? But after that conversation, I felt terrible stress in the pit of my stomach. It doesn’t feel right.
Maybe he could come here. An hour away. Far enough that, without a car, he can’t just pop over to the house. Close enough that I could pick him up and take him to church and to the house for Sunday dinner once a week. A place where his only acquaintences would be family and the people he meets in his program. It feels right to me but I don’t know if I’m trying to control or if I’m trying to aid recovery. Once again, I’m clueless. The people in my Alanon group listen to me and nod, but give no advice.
I’m calling his counselor today to talk about it again. I feel unrest in my spirit. I have prayed that God would let things fall in place in such a way as to direct him to where he needs to go. I guess that’s the real answer. Trust God. Let go. Trust God some more. I’ve never been good at chess – and life really is not a chess game. If it is, it’s God’s move.
Posted in Addict Child, Addiction, Faith, God, Heroin, Parent of addict, Recovering Child, Recovery, The Ongoing Story
Tagged Addiction, Heroin, Recovery, Rehab
Take a look at this story: http://www.opposingviews.com/articles/news-britain-gives-heroin-to-addicts-crime-falls-should-u-s-follow. If a government gives heroin addicts drugs for free, there is less crime. Sometimes the ends don’t justify the means. Wouldn’t the money be better spent on recovery programs? Should the government take the roll of feeding addictions?