In your day-to-day life, do you tend to act or react? oh sure, we all do both. But those of us who tend toward codependency tend to spend much of our time reacting to the emotions and desires of others rather than choosing actions which stem from our own core selves — our own interests, life goals, and personal beliefs and desires.
Example: I want to move to another house. This house has bad memories for me at this point, plus my rent is higher than I will be able to afford soon due to an upcoming loss of alimony income. My boyfriend thinks this is a great idea. Time to downsize. So I am happy and start to move forward, taking a look at apartments and rental homes. Then my daughter speaks against it: “I’m not moving THERE! This is a terrible idea!” I start to question my decision. Then my middle son expresses enthusiasm. I start moving foward again, etc., etc.
Today in Alanon we talked about how we can learn not to take on other people’s emotions. I have realized recently how frequently I do that. It’s an interesting journey, this self-discovery and healing process.
One Mom Talking: The ongoing story of one mom, three teens, and heroin. 