Monthly Archives: May 2010

Rest for the Weary

Posted on May 20, 2010 | 12 comments

I haven’t been sleeping well this week.  There is so much on my  mind and heart.  You all know how it is.  I’ve got a bundle right now.  Perhaps listing them here will help me rest:

  1. My daughter and I are definitely moving from the midwest to the east coast — in about two months.  LOTS to think about there.
  2. I need to get money from my ex before we go (an amount he owes me as part of the divorce agreement).  And then I need to tell him I”m moving his daughter just a little far away…
  3. I haven’t seen Dan since he went to jail a week ago (or was it two weeks?  yep, two weeks I think).  The police automatically put a restraining order in place, which says we are not allowed to communicate.  I’m going to try sending a letter to him anyway, just so he knows I care.
  4. Found out tonight that Dan’s dad (my ex) is considering bailing him out!  THIS is what has me awake tonight.  He asked my opinion, and, um, I said NO.  I know he (my ex) wants to believe that dan will stay in rehab this time.  I cannot agree.
  5. My boyfriend and I are sad that we will be very far apart, and unsure of what to do about our relationship when I move.
  6. Oh…That’s all for now.

BUT, there is light at the end of the tunnel, which you also know (or you will know someday).  And for me, it’s that even if physical rest escapes me right now, I have spiritual rest and relief.  When I cannot do for myself; God does for me.  When I cannot find my own rest, I receive the peace that passes all understanding in the deepest part of my soul.  When I cannot pray, the Holy Spirit cries out for me.  And when I just have nothing more to give, God holds me gently until I can walk again.

I wish you all a blessed weekend.  May you know the light of God’s love wherever you walk.

Your friend and journey companion,
Kay

12 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

I Claim Peace

Posted on May 8, 2010 | 5 comments

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

  • It is well, with my soul,
    It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well
With my soul.
It is well; It is well with my soul!

5 Comments

Posted in Faith, God, Healing, Hope, Spiritual Growth, Uncategorized

3 Counts and…you’re out!

Posted on May 6, 2010 | 15 comments

We discovered more items stolen last night.  We can’t quite figure out how he got in the house (we already had the locks changed).  We locked windows…and then they were unlocked…which you really can only do from inside the house.  Either he has a sidekick, or he figured a way to work the lock from the outside.

We reported the robbery last night at midnight.  My ex came over.  The sheriff’s deputies came over.  We gave them a list.  Since the total value of the items stolen is over $1000, it’s felony burglary.  Got word at 7AM this morning that Dan was arrested early this morning. 

Felony Count #1:  Burglary
Felony Count #2:  Possession of Schedule 2 drug
Felony Count #3:  Possession of Schedule 3 drug

Three strikes.  He’s out.  At least my daughter doesn’t have to be afraid to be home alone anymore.  And we can stop hiding our possessions.  And he’ll detox in jail again.  Guess he asked for it.  I don’t feel guilty.  But I don’t feel glad either.  Kind of numb right now…and I’m off to work.

I’m grateful that God is God.  Because I can’t do this alone.

15 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

“Hello. Please arrest my son”

Posted on May 5, 2010 | 7 comments

This is the phone call I have to make.  And yet I am hesitant.

Dan broke into my house again.  What we think he does is, he comes in the house when i’m not home (but his younger siblings are) and he says he needs to quickly use the bathroom or make a phone call.  When in that part of the house, he quickly unlocks a window.  Then, when no one is home, he comes in the window.  We could have sworn that everything was locked.  But today, during a two-hour window when no one was home, Dan got in our house and stole his brother’s ipod touch — the gift I bought Al for all his hard work staying clean, going to school, and holding a steady job.  THEN, Dan called a mutual friend and said, “Call Al and find out his password for his ipod.”  We found out that you can’t pawn an I-Touch without the password to unlock it.

How did he get in?  We were so confused.  We had checked every window a couple of days before and none of us had opened any since.  Then Al checked the bathroom.  Despite the fact that his razor was on the window and several items looked undisturbed on the windowsill, the window was unlocked.  That must have been his route.  CRAP.

I cannot take it anymore.  I have to report him.  I have not wanted to.  You might recall Dan is in a diversion program through the court because of a felony charge for giving heroin to his brother.  So turning him in puts that charge on his record permanently.  I know, I know that he has to face his own consequences.  It is very hard, though, as a mom to set this all into play.  I will.  But I might do it tomorrow.  I feel so scared for him.  I wish it didn’t have to be me.

God bless you all and your families and your children.    ~Kay

7 Comments

Posted in Addict Child, Addiction, Codependency, Heroin, Parent of addict, The Ongoing Story