One Man’s Journey

So my son’s life is his journey.  In don’t know his purpose.  I don’t know God’s plan for him — the details I mean.  Here I am awake at almost 1AM.  Can’t help it.  Can’t sleep.  He’s out there somewhere.   But I’m praying to let it go.  Because I don’t know his journey, his purpose, God’s plan.  There are so many possibilities.  Just as Jesus went to his death to give us life, so perhaps my son walks a death path to provide something that I cannot imagine … somehow.  If he comes out of it, he might save others with his testimony.  Or, among his drug-user friends, he might say something that turns someone else around.  Or his example stops others from going to drugs.  I have to find meaning in what feels meaningless.  And only God can provide that.

I have so much to say and yet so little.  My heart is breaking and I’m numb.  I know what’s right and think that nothing is right.  I miss my son and hope he stays away and I want him home.  Yep.  One big bundle of everything. 

Tomorrow, I will take a walk in the sun and live fully.  It’s the only real choice.

God bless.

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7 responses to “One Man’s Journey

  1. My heart goes out to you. I cannot even imagine not having my daughter home but it is the right thing for you right now. You are right, who knows what Gods plan is for your son. I will be thinking about you today and praying for some peace in your life. ((hugs))

  2. Usually our fears are unrealized…since you have no control over this…when you do think about it…which I’m sure is most of the time…perhaps try to imagine him being helped by someone or anything that will bring peace to you! I just said a prayer for you and he! (Every little prayer helps!)

    • onemomtalking

      Of course you are right! Your advice is very good; and I do that sort of thing some of the time. And some of the time I get caught up in the not-knowing. Thanks for stopping by!

  3. I feel for you. I’ve been there. But you have faith. That was so important in allowing me to detach with love from my daughter’s struggles. I’ll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. I feel your struggle and understand. Yet you continue to demonstrate faith and hope, you continue to walk in the right direction; and you are an inspiration. I keep you and your son in my prayers.

  5. I hear you , sister. It’s been a struggle for me of late. It’s been two years since I have seen my girl, but sometimes the pain is just raw. Take care of yourself.

  6. Sending ((((hugs)))) your way…

    and prayers,

    Cheri

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