Rest? In peace?

rest in peace

A friend’s son committed suicide today.  I heard about it through a facebook message from my mother. The lady is not a close friend; she is an acquaintance from childhood.  But our boys are  … were … the same age and when they were little, we stumble upon each other unexpectedly at a park in another state and we caught up while the boys played.  We are friends on facebook and I sent her a note saying how very, very sorry I am.

Facebook and death – maybe it’s an appropriate thesis topic for some of the random dynamics we now have due to the proliferation of social media.

The point is, I got to thinking about how quickly people hear news – no matter how personal; so much more quickly than before.  And then we respond. I thought out my response – really feel the message I sent was appropriate and that a fb message – in the context of this relationship – was also alright and would be sincerely accepted when the time comes that she checks in and reads it.

Then I got to thinking about how often we see posts: “R.I.P. [fill in the blank].”  What empty words those would be to me if I was the mother of one who has passed. At least at first. They are resting – but the mother, right now?  Rest?  Peace?  Really?

I don’t know. I’m not sure what point I’m making. I just got to thinking about my boys and how close I’ve been to losing both of them. And how close some of you out there are to this.  I’m indulging in a little sadness.

Honestly, despite everything I’ve seen in life, I mostly consider life a joyful and blessed experience every day.  But not all day, every day.  So for this moment, my heartfelt tears extend to this friend and her family and any of you who have said goodbye to your child too soon. We will be reunited. But for now, a moment of grief for the loss.

Rest in Peace …

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2 responses to “Rest? In peace?

  1. Hello. I lost my 20 year old son four years ago to a Heroin Overdose. Believe it or not, the Facebook “RIP” messages to me were a comfort, knowing how many peoples lives he affected. It actually hurts more now, that there are less and less posts on his FB wall as the years go by.

    • Thank you for sharing that. Actually, my friend (who recently lost her son) told me the same thing. It helps her that people will talk to her – online or in person – about him and support her as she celebrates who he was and is in her heart. I can see how it would hurt more over time as those comments fade. I’m so very, very sorry for your loss. Please let me know if I ever can help in any way.

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