Category Archives: Addict Child

Christmas and the coming New Year

Posted on December 19, 2009 | 8 comments

Wow, I didn’t realize how long I’ve been away.  Thanks to everyone who has visited here — for your support and for sharing your stories.  I’m glad we have an online community to reach out to in times of trial.

As Christmas approaches, with the onset of a New Year right behind, I thought I’d give an update and a word of hope.

Dan is in jail for the second time.  The court process has been encouraging though.  We got a good prosecutor who seems to understand Dan’s plight.  He has dropped all but one charge, and has recommended Dan for a diversion program.  So, if Dan is able to comply with court orders and direction for however long (a couple of years I suppose), he will emerge with a clean record. 

As for Dan’s point of view — he’s been in jail for a month.  While there, some people have told him some not-so-pretty stories about prison life.  He does not want to go to prison!  That threat, and the possibility of a clean record, have (I think) given him much more motivation to recover than he had before.  But what do we know about addicts?  They are very good liars.  so I’ll believe it when I see it.  Still, I’m allowing myself a glimmer of hope.

Heck, it’s Christmastime!  Dan gets out of jail on a new, lower bond on Tuesday — into residential rehab on Wednesday.  Friday is Christmas and we will be thankful that he has another chance to put his life on a new track.  I pray and pray and pray for him.  And whenever I drive past the jail, I stop and pray some more.  Sometimes it’s all a mother can do.  But the Bible tells us that God honors a mother’s prayers (or so I’m told…I don’t know where that is in the Bible. Hm. I’ll let you know).

I am ready for a new year.  I believe 2010 will be a year of healing — not just for my family, but for many, many families.  That’s what I’m looking for.  Healing stories of 2010.  🙂

God bless you all and have a wonderful, love-filled holiday season!

~onemomtalking

8 Comments

Posted in Addict Child, Addiction, Faith, Healing, Hope, Parent of addict, Recovery, The Ongoing Story

His Life

Posted on November 22, 2009 | 7 comments

Dan’s life is his life.  Dan — my addict son — was arrested early this morning.  My phone rang just after 2AM.  So back to jail he goes.  Now it’s almost 5AM and I’m still up and he hasn’t yet called from jail.  Perhaps he won’t.  Perhaps he is trying to let me rest.  Somehow, he still cares about me beneath the craziness.  I’m sad, but also numb, and also…hopeful.  Because God is greater than drug addiction.  Nothing else to say right now.

7 Comments

Posted in Addict Child, Addiction, Faith, Heroin, Parent of addict, The Ongoing Story

Hope Walking

Posted on November 18, 2009 | 1 comment

My son is going back into rehab.  And I have written this poem, tentatively titled:  “Hope Walking.”

Hope Walking
by onemomtalking 

No white wrappings to cover his skin,
No ebony coffin holds him in.
No Devil demands his bloody jowl,
No minions applaud his muddy scowl.
No crucifix hangs above his bed,
No ebony hood drapes over his head.
There is no funeral for the walking dead.

His mother cries where no one hears.
His father sheds dry, weary tears.
His sister hardens her heart too soon.
His brother prays by the earliest moon.
Though angels hover above his bed,
His skin is white, his eyes are red …
Continual grief for the walking dead.

Redemption awaits for the sound of his call,
God mediates both the rise and the fall.
The requests of the blessed sing heavenly songs,
One warm mustard seed, planted deep, rights his wrongs.
With Love as his blanket and Faith as his bread,
His thirst slowly quenched and his hunger soon fed,
There is hope and new life for the walking dead.

 

1 Comment

Posted in Addict Child, Addiction, Faith, Hope, Parent of addict, Recovering Child, The Ongoing Story

Will my real son please stand up?

Posted on November 16, 2009 | 2 comments

One day he steals from his dad.  The next day he shows up for volunteer work.  The next he is talking suicide, the next detox and rehab, and then he is claiming he can withdraw on his own.  Insanity at work.  A slow destruction.  He is sick with an illness that leads to and feeds on isolation.  How do you have a funeral for the walking dead?

2 Comments

Posted in Addict Child, Addiction, Mental Illness, Parent of addict, The Ongoing Story

Those Sad Days

Posted on November 15, 2009 | 1 comment

Today is one of those sad days.  It was preceded by happy days.  I had stopped writing here for awhile because things were going along fairly smoothly and I was happy to take a break from defining myself as “the mother of an addict.”    But here I am again.

Today my ex husband discovered that there were checks missing from his checkbook.  He called the bank and yes, indeed, my addict son had stolen checks from his dad and written them to himself and cashed them.  Then my ex realized he had a box of checks up in his closet.  He took a look for them and found that one whole set of checks was missing.   He called the bank and closed his account.  It’s a sad day.

My son called and cried when he realized we knew.  There are two of him.  The real one and the addict.  And we see who’s winning.

My prayers are continual.  And I feel like … I feel like my son has died, and yet there can be no funeral.  As if he has been kidnapped maybe; only there is no ransom we can pay to get him back.

1 Comment

Posted in Addict Child, Heroin, Parent of addict, Recovering Child, Relapse, The Ongoing Story