“Normal Teen Behavior”

I bring my daughter to a counselor awhile back, and we all talk together, and the counselor says, “It sounds like she’s exhibiting normal teen behavior.  She just wants to be treated like a normal teen.”  I say, “Her two older siblings both exhibited what I thought was ‘normal teen behavior’ — they both tried heroin and one is an addict.  How am I supposed to have a clue about what is ‘normal’?”  The counselor paused.  She looked at me and nodded.  

Technology alone has made my kids’ teen years very different from mine.  But let’s think about it.  Some level of isolation is normal for a teen.  Moodiness, wanting to sleep late, wanting a lot of time with friends, becoming more private, less social with family … all “normal teen behavior.”

Honestly, at some point I knew my boys’ behaviors had breached the “normal” boundary.  But I didn’t know when it happened.  It snuck up on me.  I don’t want that to happen with my daughter.  

I’m moving her across the country to be near my family.  Four weeks from now we hit the road.  She wants this.  She cried out for this.  Her dad is furious.  He says I’m ending his relationship with her.  I said he had fifteen years to create a relationship with her.  I’m trying to give her a couple of “normal teenage years” before it’s too late.  It’s the best choice I see right now.  And that’s all I can do — make the best choice that I see right now. 

God Bless.

11 responses to ““Normal Teen Behavior”

  1. For what it’s worth I think you are doing the right thing for your daughter. She cried out to you for help and you answered and it is also going to be beneficial for your healing. You husband can fly out and visit or fly her out. He isnt the focus of this now, your children are. I am 100% behind you and will pray that your daughter comes out of her teen years unscathed. My daughter will be 6 months clean on July 1st. It has been a struggle and continues to be a day by day process. She is continuing to heal from the heroin addiction. I never saw when the change happened from normal teen behavior either but it hit me right in the face when I found out. ((hugs to you)) Keep in touch. Wish you were coming closer to me but I will have to wait for that.

  2. transitioning can be difficult, but if managed right, and slowly, may turn out to be a very positive thing.

  3. onemomtalking

    Thanks, Ladies! You always make me smile!

  4. You deserve to smile 🙂

  5. I think you’re doing the right thing!!!!

  6. Good for you and your daughter! I am happy for y’all…change is good!

  7. You are a brave mom to make a move like this to protect your girl. If I still had the opportunity, I would do it in a heartbeat. However, I did not know when she started on the wrong path and I had no warning. Barbara is right, you are doing the right thing. Nosy me wants to know what state you are moving to.

  8. Praying for you both and wishing you Godspeed as you go!


  9. I don’t know what normal behavior is either. I don’t trust myself to determine that anymore. It is like I have been corrupted. Example of corrupt thoughts: Well at least he got up before 2:00 this afternoon, since when did getting up by 2:00pm become a good thing? I am so messed up. I sometimes feel doomed.

  10. I have a son who is a heroin addict. My oldest of five children, P is alive today, and doing much, much, much better…off drugs and going to school part-time. It wasn’t always this way. He has been arrested, jailed, homeless, drug sick, and eventually overdosed on heroin, his drug of choice. My husband and I performed CPR on him, bringing his ashen, breathless body, back to life. Thankfully he’d been home…and my husband had a “hunch’ to go check on him in his bedroom…Don’t give up!! We had our son hauled off in handcuffs at 17, I kicked him out and pressed charges against him at 18, …and when he was ready we took him back to rehab, again, and again…He has been clean for 2 years now. Thank you, Lord. Stand firm…draw the line…true love does what is hardest. Blessings to all of you.

    • Thanks you for your note! It’s good to hear some positive stories! I will visit your blog and add your family to my prayers. God Bless!

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