After Hours

It’s 4:30 AM.  This is the time when even bars are closed.  After hours.  But here I am.  I fell asleep easily last night at 10:30 PM.  I’ve been doing well with sleep — going to bed earlier, getting off the computer, deep breathing, staying away from the end-of-the-night glass of wine.  So I was pleased last night, dozing off without a hitch.

And then I woke up.  Bright-eyed.  I expected it to be early morning … maybe 4:30 or 5:00.  But it was only two; I’ve been up since then.

My first response was frustration.  Then worry – not about anything particulary – just that low-lying fog of worry familiar to parents of addicts, but of which I hope never to grow fond.  I played computer games.  Attempted to pray.  Tried meditation.   Watched the clock.

Finally, I decided to just be awake.  For tonight, three hours sleep might just have to be enough.  So here I am.  Instead of fretting the long dark night away, I might as well do something useful and visit my friends in the land of the blogs.  I know I’m not the only one up in the middle of the night.  And maybe someone needs a hug.

So here’s to you all – a big hug:  {{{{{{{Fellow Travellers}}}}}}}}.  God is with us and will carry us through.  And on the off chance I fall asleep 20 minutes before my alarm rings, I’ll try to stay grateful for a little gift called the afternoon nap.  Sweet dreams, my friends.  Sweet dreams.

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