When I was packing to move from Colorado to South Carolina last summer, I came upon a box filled with my journals. There were diaries from my teen years, as well as journals from the years leading up to my divorce, and more recent writings as well. Flipping through these glances into my own history, written in my own words, I was struck by the view of my own life journey — how much I had been through and how far I have come!
Today, on this blog, I had a comment from someone who had read my whole story here – from the first post going forward. So I decided to do the same. I started this blog in September of 2009; almost a year and a half ago. That’s not a very long time, but reading my words from those first few months, I feel like I’m peeking in on someone else’s life. It feels like that was *so* long ago! Things that were brand new to me then do feel like a somewhat normal part of my life now.
Journaling the journey, as the parent of heroin addicts, has been helpful in the day to day walk. I’m also pleased to be helped by reading back and seeing that I have, indeed, grown. I have found some serenity (not 24-7, but fairly regular). I know more than I ever wanted to know about addiction. I have learned to love my boys despite my hate for their addiction. I’ve learned that addiction is a disease – and a family disease at that. I’ve learned about my own codependent behavior and taken steps to live a more healthy life.
Journal your journey – words like photographs reflecting your own growth. A gift worth giving.
Now that I have both been in program for a few years, my old journals have been a very helpful tool in my recovery – pen and ink evidence of my own self-righteous attitude and convoluted thinking. Reading them has helped me to be more honest with myself in my fourth step and has shown me clear cut opportunities to make amends. Thanks for your share and keep writing!