Category Archives: Healing

One Mom Talking 2011

I’m making a new commitment to this blog for 2011.  It’s not a resolution exactly.  Let’s call it a “Plan of Good Intention.”  Here ‘s what you can expect from One Mom Talking over the coming months:

  • Signs and Symptoms of heroin (and other drug) use by young people
  • A parent’s plan of action (what to do once you know)
  • Keeping siblings safe
  • Hope for healing: A Spiritual Perspective
  • Rehab options (private and public)
  • Addiction and the Department of Corrections
  • Speaking Engagements (I might develop a presentation to take to schools and parent groups)
  • Getting us together (reponses to my initial survey showed that parents of addicts yearn for a chance to meet each other in an organized setting)

This year, you will be able to easily share your favorite OMT posts on facebook, twitter or by email (buttons should be easily visible with each post).   One Mom Talking will be on facebook soon as well.  Reaching in and reaching out.   God bless!

Every Day = New Years Day

Happy New Year, everyone.  I sincerely hope that 2011 brings healing, spiritual renewal, and a deep sense of serenity into your lives and the lives of those you love.

As much as I want to detest 2010 (as if a time period has meaning and character all its own), today I gratefully report that 2010 ends (and 2011 begins) with both of my boys in recovery.  I do feel deeply grateful.  I’d like to say that I feel Joyful — but that would be dishonest. 

My melancholy comes partly from needing more time to trust the recovery my sons have committed to, and partly from my own continued need to heal from the addiction that turned our family upside down … and moreso, my daughter’s need to heal, which she has yet to acknowledge.  We have an appointment for a mental health evaluation on January 4.  I am grateful for that.  I’ve been out of work since July and we have no insurance.  Luckily the county we are in has this program for high school students, and so we are getting hooked in. 

All this to say that this year, I take “New Years Day” with a grain of salt.  I’ve returned to Al Anon (which I didn’t do much of last year) and what I’m learning is that every day is New Years Day.  Every day is an opportunity to accomplish whatever we can, to be the best we can be, to encourage those we love, to start over if we’ve erred, to find gratitude, to love ourselves, to pray for a new start. 

During 2010, I spent a lot of time trying to decide who is sick and who is well and who is responsible for what … I’ve let that all go.  On this fun date of 1/1/11, for today, I’m not playing the blame game.  I’m not going to try to analyze my daughter.  I’m not going to try to analyze myself.  I’m going to tell all my children I love them, bake some corn bread, take down the Christmas decorations, and rest.  

One of my Al Anon friends gave me this prayer:  “God, bless [him, her, them] and change me.”   I’m going to stop being like Calvin in this comic, and admit my need for change.  This is my prayer today.

Every day is New Years Day.  Thanks for being here, everyone.  You true blessings in my life, whatever the date may be.

Rebirth

 This is a photo I took here in South Carolina.  My new home.  It is a symbol, though, of all rebirth for me and my family.  Especially for Dan.

The bigget news:  Dan gave his life to Christ after being ministered to in jail by a visiting Bible Study leader.  Now, he is out on probation living with his dad.  He’s been clean (except for one slip) since May.  But clean now for 28 days outside of jail, by his own choice and because – he will tell you – of the power of God that lives in him.  He reads the bible daily, goes to church, meets weekly with the pastor, and has met a group of students from a local college who meet for study and fellowship together.  PRAISE GOD!! 

I am not allowed to talk to Dan on the phone, or to visit him in person.  The restraining order set in place back in May is still in effect.  The judge won’t lift it until I am able to go to Colorado and meet with her in court.  I don’t know when that will happen.  But I am sure it will happen exactly when it’s supposed to.  In the meantime, Dan and I write letters to each other.  It’s a wonderful, underused way of communication.  He can tell me about his life, uninterrupted, and I can do the same.  We are getting to know each other in a way we might not have otherwise. 

He says, “Mom, I am growing up now.  And you have your own journey.  Do what you need to do.  I love you!”  What more could a mother ask for?

Grace

I really have so much to update and will not do that at this time.  It’s 6AM and I need to shower and go to work. 

I will tell you that I have been feeling guilty lately because I’m moving forward with my life and spend less and less time in “mother of addict” mode.  Does this mean I’m denying reality?  Don’t know.  Dan’s been in jail for months now.  I saw him Friday and he looks good.  I cried when I saw him.  He cried too…well, almost.  I saw tears in his eyes. 

Anyway, I had been feeling guilty about not visiting him enough, about actually going forward with the move (five weeks), about not trying to help him define his next step, etc.  And then in church yesterday, we saw this U2 video.  It settled my heart a bit.  Perhaps it will serve you as well.  God Bless!

I Claim Peace

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

  • It is well, with my soul,
    It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well
With my soul.
It is well; It is well with my soul!

You Never Let Go

Christmas and the coming New Year

Wow, I didn’t realize how long I’ve been away.  Thanks to everyone who has visited here — for your support and for sharing your stories.  I’m glad we have an online community to reach out to in times of trial.

As Christmas approaches, with the onset of a New Year right behind, I thought I’d give an update and a word of hope.

Dan is in jail for the second time.  The court process has been encouraging though.  We got a good prosecutor who seems to understand Dan’s plight.  He has dropped all but one charge, and has recommended Dan for a diversion program.  So, if Dan is able to comply with court orders and direction for however long (a couple of years I suppose), he will emerge with a clean record. 

As for Dan’s point of view — he’s been in jail for a month.  While there, some people have told him some not-so-pretty stories about prison life.  He does not want to go to prison!  That threat, and the possibility of a clean record, have (I think) given him much more motivation to recover than he had before.  But what do we know about addicts?  They are very good liars.  so I’ll believe it when I see it.  Still, I’m allowing myself a glimmer of hope.

Heck, it’s Christmastime!  Dan gets out of jail on a new, lower bond on Tuesday — into residential rehab on Wednesday.  Friday is Christmas and we will be thankful that he has another chance to put his life on a new track.  I pray and pray and pray for him.  And whenever I drive past the jail, I stop and pray some more.  Sometimes it’s all a mother can do.  But the Bible tells us that God honors a mother’s prayers (or so I’m told…I don’t know where that is in the Bible. Hm. I’ll let you know).

I am ready for a new year.  I believe 2010 will be a year of healing — not just for my family, but for many, many families.  That’s what I’m looking for.  Healing stories of 2010.  🙂

God bless you all and have a wonderful, love-filled holiday season!

~onemomtalking