Dan came home from Rehab 2 yesterday. Not home to my house though; home to his dad’s. I was nervous. The hardest part is not knowing what to expect. I do see some differences this time though:
He’s not talking like it’s going to be easy. The first time he came out of rehab, he talked idealistically about how he was changing his life. He was full of rose-colored optimism. Constantly reassuring me. And he was lying the whole time. Using the whole time. Now, he’s talking about the struggle. About how he hopes he can make it. How he hopes he can grow strong enough to serve as an example to others. But he knows it will be hard. He told me, “I’m doing my best mom. I hope I can do it. I think I can. But please know that I might mess up.” Realism. A good sign.
He will drive 30 miles to his after care counseling three times a week. He is not arguing against this. Last time he insisted that he didn’t need support. This time, he says he realizes the only way he can make it is to have a support system in place.
So I’m hoping. But there is that little knot in my stomach. The good news — it’s not there all the time. I don’t think about it all the time. I am sleeping. I am focusing on my other children, my job, my house and not obsessing on Dan and addiction all the time. Another new start for Dan. Another new start for the family.
Praying for you all, and grateful for your support!
From what I know it sounds hopeful that Dan is concerned about relapse. My son is saying the same types of things (he’s not home yet, one more month). I think in a way they want to prepare us for the possibility that they may relapse to get some sort of assurance that we know it may happen. I’m not sure. But it seems much more positive than hearing an over-confident “i can do it”.
honesty, and relapse are part of recovery. i hate the relapse part, and my daughter hasn’t ever gotten to the honesty part, although she has the relapse part down pretty good !
there is always hope.
I’m glad your son is home. It sounds like this time he is more realistic about what life outside of rehab is like than the last time. He knows he needs a support system, he needs to make sure he keeps one. I’m optimistic for him. Good for you to not obsess, I know it is near impossible not to! Like him, do the best you can 🙂 God bless.
I agree, his honesty and the fact that he is now accepting he needs aftercare are good signs. My son came out of rehab saying he didn’t have a problem anymore. He is now in more denial about his addiction than two years ago with not much honesty happening. I pray Dan will continue to work his program and remain humble, and that your family will truly have a new start:)
I am hoping this is the beginning of a great future for Dan. Saw My daughter for the first time on Saturday in rehab and realize I cant do anything for her, she must do it herself. She wants to and asked to go to rehab so I am hoping it will work the first time but i know that odds are not in our favor. I will keep praying for all of the addicts that they may find there way without the drugs.