[Note: I really don’t feel as hopeless as this poem portrays; but I have felt like this at certain moments along the way.]
You came home today.
You came home today,
put your arms around me,
said “I love you”
Dried my tears and I am terrified of you.
I don’t know what you’ll do this time.
Or when.
How often I will see the reaper sneering back at me
through your eyes
before the hatchet takes its final fall.
You don’t live here anymore.
I’ll take your kisses and your hugs
and your coming over for dinner when you’re tired of
your father’s cooking or political debates and
hours of advice from a man who cannot change your choices.
I miss my son.
You came home today and I think I recognize a man
where my little boy used to be.
I wonder if you still eat dirt
And yearn to build inventions out of broken down machines.
One Mom Talking: The ongoing story of one mom, three teens, and heroin. 
i’m sorry. its really hard. i had to separate the child from the adult. so i mourned the child. made them into two separate people. it’s the only way i stayed sane. to look at my daughter i used to see the baby i loved so dearly, the boo-boo’s i kissed, the hair i smoothed.
now i just see the adult, who is like a distant cousin i tolerate.
sad
Dawn, thanks. I understand this idea “like a distant cousin I tolerate.” I feel like that too. It’s sad. I’m sorry.
I’m glad you put the note before the beautiful poem. Your words express the feelings of many.
Thanks Madison. We’re all on the road together.