Monthly Archives: January 2011

Preventing Relapse | Addiction Management

“The successful person has the habit of doing things failures don’t like to do, they don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.” – E.M. Gray

Interesting.  I have just entered the field of real estate sales in South Carolina.   My sales coach used this quote at the very beginning of training session #1 as he explained the difference between the 10% of salespeople who make 90% of the sales – and everybody else.

Today, I found this same quote opening an article on addiction management.  This confirms for me something I’ve become to realize:  the formula for success is very much the same, whatever your goal, and whatever your psychological condition.  Overweight due to inactivity?  Get up and exercise.  Lonely due to shyness?  Go out to social events.  Not making enough sales?  Call that list of contacts you feel too nervous to call.  Experienced an addiction relapse? [fill in the blank] 

This is not to make light of any of these things.  Some surely are easier than others.  But the underlying theory is the same — hence the quote showing up in my life in two very different contexts.

Below is a link to an article that helped me frame my thinking about relapse.  This article, and the site overall, is worth your time.  Please take a look and tell me what you think!  God bless!

Preventing Relapse | Addiction Management.

Selfless Acts of Service

One of the best ways to get our focus off of problems and worries is to turn our attention the service of others.  Here’s a list of simple ways to brighten other lives and spread some light in the world:

Click here for acts of selfless service for 2011

via Click here for acts of selfless service for 2011.

MY RIGHTS – Questionnaire (25-48)

Hi friends.  I really like this list of rights that I saw on  It was written for Adult Children of Alcoholics – but I surely believe it pertains to us parents of addicts, and anyone else who has an addict in their life.  I’m having trouble posting the actual list here, but here’s the link to the full blog posting:  MY RIGHTS – Questionnaire (25-48).  So check it out.  Good site!

After Hours

It’s 4:30 AM.  This is the time when even bars are closed.  After hours.  But here I am.  I fell asleep easily last night at 10:30 PM.  I’ve been doing well with sleep — going to bed earlier, getting off the computer, deep breathing, staying away from the end-of-the-night glass of wine.  So I was pleased last night, dozing off without a hitch.

And then I woke up.  Bright-eyed.  I expected it to be early morning … maybe 4:30 or 5:00.  But it was only two; I’ve been up since then.

My first response was frustration.  Then worry – not about anything particulary – just that low-lying fog of worry familiar to parents of addicts, but of which I hope never to grow fond.  I played computer games.  Attempted to pray.  Tried meditation.   Watched the clock.

Finally, I decided to just be awake.  For tonight, three hours sleep might just have to be enough.  So here I am.  Instead of fretting the long dark night away, I might as well do something useful and visit my friends in the land of the blogs.  I know I’m not the only one up in the middle of the night.  And maybe someone needs a hug.

So here’s to you all – a big hug:  {{{{{{{Fellow Travellers}}}}}}}}.  God is with us and will carry us through.  And on the off chance I fall asleep 20 minutes before my alarm rings, I’ll try to stay grateful for a little gift called the afternoon nap.  Sweet dreams, my friends.  Sweet dreams.

One Mom Talking 2011

I’m making a new commitment to this blog for 2011.  It’s not a resolution exactly.  Let’s call it a “Plan of Good Intention.”  Here ‘s what you can expect from One Mom Talking over the coming months:

  • Signs and Symptoms of heroin (and other drug) use by young people
  • A parent’s plan of action (what to do once you know)
  • Keeping siblings safe
  • Hope for healing: A Spiritual Perspective
  • Rehab options (private and public)
  • Addiction and the Department of Corrections
  • Speaking Engagements (I might develop a presentation to take to schools and parent groups)
  • Getting us together (reponses to my initial survey showed that parents of addicts yearn for a chance to meet each other in an organized setting)

This year, you will be able to easily share your favorite OMT posts on facebook, twitter or by email (buttons should be easily visible with each post).   One Mom Talking will be on facebook soon as well.  Reaching in and reaching out.   God bless!

Every Day = New Years Day

Happy New Year, everyone.  I sincerely hope that 2011 brings healing, spiritual renewal, and a deep sense of serenity into your lives and the lives of those you love.

As much as I want to detest 2010 (as if a time period has meaning and character all its own), today I gratefully report that 2010 ends (and 2011 begins) with both of my boys in recovery.  I do feel deeply grateful.  I’d like to say that I feel Joyful — but that would be dishonest. 

My melancholy comes partly from needing more time to trust the recovery my sons have committed to, and partly from my own continued need to heal from the addiction that turned our family upside down … and moreso, my daughter’s need to heal, which she has yet to acknowledge.  We have an appointment for a mental health evaluation on January 4.  I am grateful for that.  I’ve been out of work since July and we have no insurance.  Luckily the county we are in has this program for high school students, and so we are getting hooked in. 

All this to say that this year, I take “New Years Day” with a grain of salt.  I’ve returned to Al Anon (which I didn’t do much of last year) and what I’m learning is that every day is New Years Day.  Every day is an opportunity to accomplish whatever we can, to be the best we can be, to encourage those we love, to start over if we’ve erred, to find gratitude, to love ourselves, to pray for a new start. 

During 2010, I spent a lot of time trying to decide who is sick and who is well and who is responsible for what … I’ve let that all go.  On this fun date of 1/1/11, for today, I’m not playing the blame game.  I’m not going to try to analyze my daughter.  I’m not going to try to analyze myself.  I’m going to tell all my children I love them, bake some corn bread, take down the Christmas decorations, and rest.  

One of my Al Anon friends gave me this prayer:  “God, bless [him, her, them] and change me.”   I’m going to stop being like Calvin in this comic, and admit my need for change.  This is my prayer today.

Every day is New Years Day.  Thanks for being here, everyone.  You true blessings in my life, whatever the date may be.